I HATE to make this my first ever blogpost. I hate it a lot. I really had hoped my first post would be about something else. I'm not even sure how to start writing this. Maybe what happened was not a big deal, but I'm still scared. I feel vulnerable in a really bad way.

I get on the city's metro as usual on my way to college. The wagon is crowded. It usually gets crowded at that hour this early in the morning. Two guy join after me and push me. There's not a lot of room left so I have to put a bit of resistance so I don't accidentally trip over. They keep pushing me as I'm struggling to keep my balance. I'm used to getting pushed around on the metro. I feel like it just might be common here. Men and women but usually men will not care hurting others and just barge their way in.

There is a man in front of me. I'm not a short girl myself, not for this country, but he totally towered over me. He was really broad too. He had long greasy hair and, if my memory doesn't betray me he also had a beard and was wearing a black shirt but I didn't take a good look at it. He was already there when I got in and he glanced at me. I didn't think much of it. He's surely just another random normal passenger, right?

I'm holding myself onto a pole with my right hand. As the stations move one after the other the crowd slowly leaves. Not completely but I finally get a bit of wiggle room. I turn around a bit to grab the pole with my other hand. The guys who pushed me are gone. Then, the man in front of me walks and stands right behind me. There was enough space but he decided to stand close. He's staring at me. It made me unconfortable.

Out of a sudden I feel the man's hip thrusting into my butt. He keeps looking at me through my shoulder. He's moving himself possibly trying to angle his crotch directly onto there. I feel defenseless. I'm starting to panic internally. You know when the metro moves you feel a force pushing you a bit? I think he was trying to play it of as just that. He really though he was being super slick, didn't he? But he had enough room to move away from me if he wanted to. But he didn't want to, did he?

At the next stop a lot of seats empty. I rush to take a seat. Unfortunately for me, he walks towards them too. He sits on the opposite end, still staring at me. I trying to appear as if nothing was happening but deep inside I'm really scared. I should've asked for help. But who would've I asked for help? There wasn't any cop there. And even if there was, would they had taken me seriously? ME, who was wearing a hoodie, no makeup, had shit hair, and looked masculine, male even? Was he targeting me because of that? What did he thought about me? Why ME?

I arrived at my station. In fact, it was the last one of the route. I took a bit before I stood up and left. He waited until I did to leave, still looking at me. He went through a different doorway. I lost track of him but I walked as fast as I could to get away. I still felt like I was in danger. Thankfully, I made it safely to the bus stop. I didn't see him again. I hope to never see him again.